Speculation have persisted over the last few month's that ex-BBC commentator and Honda ambassador Murray Walker, has been embroiled in a covert mail-order bride ring for Grand Prix bosses.
Rumoured to have brokered the deal between Michelle Yeoh and Jean Todt, Murray was questioned in Shanghai's '下午喜悅' or 'Afternoon Delight Restaurant', Murray was at pains to explain the situation.
"You have to understand".. explained Walker. "It was the 80's and I was travelling to the Malaysian GP with Dietrich Maetezitch when we found we'd been robbed by.. You know.. A Ladyboy! The first time I was so ashamed I didn’t power-slam the little scum-ball there and then!.. Second time I caught the bitch red-handed and said to myself “Wait a minute, this is a dude”. I then proceeded to kick his silicone derriere from here to Nong Pam! Dietrich stopped me an suggested we could go into business with these surgically altered freaks. Since then we've had a steady stream of customers from Jean Todt to Flavio Briatore.. You look like a keen customer yourself!..
O come! I know ladyboy for you!You like ladyboy crazyboy?"
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Kimi honoured in BBC Tribute
In celebration of Kimi Raikonnen's 2007 World Championship victory, the BBC will be airing a special documentary celebrating the Finnish driver's road to F1 success.
Titled "Kimi - A Life In the Grip of Alcohol", is an artistic look at Kimi's life with never before seen home video footage of Raikonnen; who uses a video diary to express what life is like with his alcoholic friend Mika.
Kimi drinks up to 15 pints of lager a day and often goes AWOL on extended binges. He started drinking 20 years ago, a problem brought on by geographical nascency and further fueled by unreliable race machinary. The doco is also shot through revolutionary filter techniques which can accurately depict Kimi's exact state of inebriation.
The documentary airs this Friday at 8:30 pm.
Titled "Kimi - A Life In the Grip of Alcohol", is an artistic look at Kimi's life with never before seen home video footage of Raikonnen; who uses a video diary to express what life is like with his alcoholic friend Mika.
Kimi drinks up to 15 pints of lager a day and often goes AWOL on extended binges. He started drinking 20 years ago, a problem brought on by geographical nascency and further fueled by unreliable race machinary. The doco is also shot through revolutionary filter techniques which can accurately depict Kimi's exact state of inebriation.
The documentary airs this Friday at 8:30 pm.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Wikipedia Vandal caught!
The Wikipedia vandal responsible for making "degrading" alterations to Lewis Hamilton's Wikipedia profile has been revealed.
Originally believed to be a Spanish Mercedes representative, Interpol focused their resources onto the McLaren camp itself. Mercedes Motorsport Head, Norbert Haug would not name the culprit but identified the means of identification Interpol used to isolate the vandal.
"He had a very unusual style", explained Haug. "Instead of typing his alterations, he wrote directly onto the computer screen with a ball-point pen - we suspect to avoid electronic surveillance.. He was eventually caught re-editing a particularly long section; being forced to run off the computer screen, onto the pit-garage floor and onto Lewis's helmet - which he was wearing at the time".
Originally believed to be a Spanish Mercedes representative, Interpol focused their resources onto the McLaren camp itself. Mercedes Motorsport Head, Norbert Haug would not name the culprit but identified the means of identification Interpol used to isolate the vandal.
"He had a very unusual style", explained Haug. "Instead of typing his alterations, he wrote directly onto the computer screen with a ball-point pen - we suspect to avoid electronic surveillance.. He was eventually caught re-editing a particularly long section; being forced to run off the computer screen, onto the pit-garage floor and onto Lewis's helmet - which he was wearing at the time".
Friday, October 12, 2007
Vettel appears at CIK-FIA campaign
FIA Institute Deputy President Prof. Gérard Saillant and CIK-FIA President Luigi Macaluso attended the recent World Karting Championship event in Angerville, France to help launch ‘Race True’, a CIK-FIA and FIA Institute backed anti-doping campaign. Special guest Sebastian Vettel was also in attendance.
Vettel warned youngsters about the use of drugs in sport.
"Drivers,.. like all professional.. Ath.. Ath..letes.. Must be extra careful." Explained Vettel. "Not wanting to take drugs is not.. Result in a dope.. contest... They must be feeling.. sick.. Where am I?.."
Vettel warned youngsters about the use of drugs in sport.
"Drivers,.. like all professional.. Ath.. Ath..letes.. Must be extra careful." Explained Vettel. "Not wanting to take drugs is not.. Result in a dope.. contest... They must be feeling.. sick.. Where am I?.."
Fuji still counting the cost
Fuji Speedway have employed local vagrants to recover the 350 million yen ($3 million USD) that was refunded to spectators whose seats offered poor views of Sunday's Japanese Grand Prix, according to Japanese media.
Organisers say they’ve recovered 12.75 yen left under the general seating area.
“At this rate, we should recoup our losses by the year 29300000” a Fuji spoke-person said.
Organisers say they’ve recovered 12.75 yen left under the general seating area.
“At this rate, we should recoup our losses by the year 29300000” a Fuji spoke-person said.
Piquet moves mountains
Amidst growing concern that Formula One’s younger drivers have no interest in safety concerns, Nelson Piquet Jnr shocked the Grand Prix Drivers Association by attempting to shift the Shanghai pit exit five-feet.
“I noticed on Friday I was caught out with Timo trying to exit” explained Renault’s Friday tester. “So I took matters into my own hands”.
“Whilst we applaud Nelsino’s enthusiasm for safety, I’ve seen retards do more intelligent things” responded GPDA director Fernando Alonso.
Piquet-Jnr is in Shanghai International Hospital under observation.
“I noticed on Friday I was caught out with Timo trying to exit” explained Renault’s Friday tester. “So I took matters into my own hands”.
“Whilst we applaud Nelsino’s enthusiasm for safety, I’ve seen retards do more intelligent things” responded GPDA director Fernando Alonso.
Piquet-Jnr is in Shanghai International Hospital under observation.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Mercedes hunts for Wikipedia vandal
Mercedes-Benz has begun a search for one of its employees in Spain, who vandalised the Wikipedia entry on Lewis Hamilton. Entries on the free online encyclopedia can be edited by any person, but the website keeps track of the changes.
Last week on Friday, an unregistered user accessing Wikipedia from an IP address belonging to Mercedes-Benz in Spain made several unflattering modifications to the Hamilton entry. The modifications falsely accuse Lewis of studying medieval literature, Christian apologetics, literary criticism, and fiction; citing he is best known today for his series The Chronicles of Narnia, and Alice In Wonderland.
In a statement, Lewis also refuted any allegations he had ever had close relations with J.R.R Tolkien.
Last week on Friday, an unregistered user accessing Wikipedia from an IP address belonging to Mercedes-Benz in Spain made several unflattering modifications to the Hamilton entry. The modifications falsely accuse Lewis of studying medieval literature, Christian apologetics, literary criticism, and fiction; citing he is best known today for his series The Chronicles of Narnia, and Alice In Wonderland.
In a statement, Lewis also refuted any allegations he had ever had close relations with J.R.R Tolkien.
Sunday, October 7, 2007
Honda - The power of "Whoa"
Honda Racing have announced Keanu Reeves will be official test driver in their 2008 line-up. It is believe Reeves will continue to mix acting roles with official testing duties.
“Keanu’s Hollywood commitments shouldn’t pose a problem” explained Honda Team Principle Nick Fry, “If need be he can phone in his performance, which is quite accepted these days I’m told.. That’s partly why we’re hiring Keanu.. His billigerent use of the term “Whoa” can express a wide variety of emotions and cognitive processes in the most economic way possible.. He should have no problem fitting in”.
“Keanu’s Hollywood commitments shouldn’t pose a problem” explained Honda Team Principle Nick Fry, “If need be he can phone in his performance, which is quite accepted these days I’m told.. That’s partly why we’re hiring Keanu.. His billigerent use of the term “Whoa” can express a wide variety of emotions and cognitive processes in the most economic way possible.. He should have no problem fitting in”.
Friday, October 5, 2007
Rosberg: 'Don't Fire Wurz'
Keke Rosberg has reportedly made an emotional plea to Frank Williams to retain the services of Alexander Wurz next season.
"You know someone better than Alex?" the Finn was misquoted as wondering to sportnet.at.
The comments were not intended as question moreas fact, given the potential recipients for next year's seat such as Timo Glock, Adrian Sutil and Nelson Piquet Jnr.
"Nelson wouldn't go to Spyker cause he's afraid of Adrian, and Nico's afraid of everyone! Please Frank! Keep Wurz cause he makes my son look like a fucking genius!"
"You know someone better than Alex?" the Finn was misquoted as wondering to sportnet.at.
The comments were not intended as question moreas fact, given the potential recipients for next year's seat such as Timo Glock, Adrian Sutil and Nelson Piquet Jnr.
"Nelson wouldn't go to Spyker cause he's afraid of Adrian, and Nico's afraid of everyone! Please Frank! Keep Wurz cause he makes my son look like a fucking genius!"
Thursday, October 4, 2007
Alonso: "I believe in miracles"
Fernando Alonso still believes a miracle could take him past McLaren teammate Lewis Hamilton to a third successive Formula One world title. The 26-year-old world champion trails his British rookie rival by 12 points with a maximum of 20 up for grabs at this weekend's Chinese Grand Prix and the season finale in Brazil two weeks later.
"Until mathematically you are out of the chance to win the championship, you don't give up."
the Spaniard told a news conference on Thursday. "I believe in miracles.. You sexy thing.. How did ya' know I needed you so badly? How did ya' know I gave my heart gladly.. Yesterday I was one of a lonely people
Now you're lying next to me.. Making love to me.."
"Until mathematically you are out of the chance to win the championship, you don't give up."
the Spaniard told a news conference on Thursday. "I believe in miracles.. You sexy thing.. How did ya' know I needed you so badly? How did ya' know I gave my heart gladly.. Yesterday I was one of a lonely people
Now you're lying next to me.. Making love to me.."
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