Friday, May 30, 2008

Piquet’s Bum Steer

Nelson Piquet is reportedly living in squalor in a move to motivate his on-track performances.
In a move to remove all distractions, Flavio Briatore has removed all creature comforts from Piquet’s life to help him focus on his racing, but GPDA director Mark Webber was angered by the move।

“The main clinical conditions leading to these sort of living conditions is either dementia, schizophrenia or alcoholism and we believe that a lot of the drivers have changes in their frontal lobes of their brains। No wonder Nelson’s struggling," Webber said.

Webber says more resources are needed to help drivers living in extreme squalor।

"When they have such severe problems with their thinking processes and are unable to work out what to do for themselves, yes, we believe that the GPDA should intervene," he said.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Who’s pulling Hamilton’s Strings

Lewis Hamilton admitted he regrets taking part in a pre-Turkish Grand Prix publicity stunt for McLaren title sponsor Vodafone, which brought on media mockery in the UK।

Hamilton was hoisted on to stage on high wires, portraying the Greek god Apollo, during a promotional event at the Istanbul set of 'Fires of Anatolia', a show depicting the battle of Troy।

"I thought 'that really was not cool.. Now I've seen the footage and it's one of the worst things I've ever seen” cited Hamilton. “At the end of the day I have a cool image, and things like that don't help… I’m a cool dude and cool dudes don’t hang from strings looking like Muppets.. Except Dr Teeth maybe.. Come to think of it, he was pretty cool.. Get Jim Henson on the phone.. I wanna guest spot!.. Whaddaya mean he won’t answer his phone???!!"

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Sutil: Pawn in a game of Porn

Force India driver Adrian Sutil said on Friday police had foiled an attempt to blackmail him after last month's Spanish Grand Prix।

"When I came back from Barcelona there was a guy who had the hard disk of my old computer because my father had thrown It out ..," the young German told Reuters at the Turkish Grand Prix।

"Somebody took this hard disk out of the computer, recognised me and he wanted to have a little benefit out of it," added the 25-year-old।

Sutil said there was nothing on the hard drive that would have embarrassed him if made public, other than "all my personal details, Oh.. and some pics I downloaded from the “News of the World Website”

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Lewis’ career in pop a ‘Daft’ idea

Lewis Hamilton has joined ex-F1 driver Jacques Villeneuve in a quest for pop stardom, but may face opposition when his new single “Harder, Better, Faster, Longer” hits shelves next week.
The single’s title bears a striking resemblance to Daft’s Punk’s “Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger”, but Hamilton denies any plaigarism, labelling any comparisons as “daft” during the launch of his single at ‘Hype’ Nightclub this week.

Daft Punk are said to be consulting lawyers regarding the track, and will be considering litigation concerning image copyright infringement.

Kimi Cops a Mouthfull

Kimi Raikonnen’s affirmation that it’s “better in the mouth than in the eye”,after copping a faceload of champaign from Heikki Kovolainen in Malaysia, has drawn opposition from leading members of the international porn community.
International spokesman, Ron Jeremy was particularly vocal, saying Raikonnen “had no business casting methodological dispersions on an industry he has no qualififications in – regardless of his patronage”.
FIA President, Max Mosley has supported Jeremy’s comments, saying he should put himself in Ron’s shoes before making unqualified statements”.

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Give Kimi A Chance

Robert Kubica was spotted in the Sepang paddock espousing the virues of peace in an attempt to enlist fellow drivers into his “Free Kimi” campaign.
I’m basically attempting to showcase the mainstream media's relentless hostility to Kimi’s monosyllabia." Robert said. “ Perhaps the more conservative elements of itv can’t understand our euro-compendiary… Well if you’re reading this James Allen. You can suck my bigos!”

Monday, March 31, 2008

Max knows Nussing!

British dishrag, the News of the World reported in a front page story that FIA president Mosley, 67, had taken part in a 'sadomasochistic orgy' with five prostitutes that was alleged to involve Nazi role-playing। F! supremo Bernie Ecclestone wasn’t convinced however.

"I don't honestly believe [it] affects the sport in any way”, cited Ecclestone. “Knowing Max it might be all a bit of a joke. You know, it's one of those things where he's sort of taking the piss, rather than anything against Jewish people… By the way, do you know why the chicken crossed the road?.. Seriously I have no idea! Tell me! I vant to know ze joke!!.. Zat’s not funny!!!!”