British dishrag, the News of the World reported in a front page story that FIA president Mosley, 67, had taken part in a 'sadomasochistic orgy' with five prostitutes that was alleged to involve Nazi role-playing। F! supremo Bernie Ecclestone wasn’t convinced however.
"I don't honestly believe [it] affects the sport in any way”, cited Ecclestone. “Knowing Max it might be all a bit of a joke. You know, it's one of those things where he's sort of taking the piss, rather than anything against Jewish people… By the way, do you know why the chicken crossed the road?.. Seriously I have no idea! Tell me! I vant to know ze joke!!.. Zat’s not funny!!!!”
Monday, March 31, 2008
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Ecclestone – Force of Nature
Organisers of the Bahrain Grand Prix, revealed on Sunday that Formula One Management has ordered the promoters to arrange for McLaren to be housed next to Force India, the local newspaper Gulf Daily News said.
Whilst Bernie Ecclestone agreed to spare McLaren the indignity of also having the farthest pit slots, his reneging on the deal has compelled the Bahrain group to issue a statement of force majeure; a common clause in contracts which essentially frees both parties from liability or obligation when an extraordinary event or circumstance beyond the control of the parties, such as war, strike, riot, crime or an act of nature.
Eccleston’s morphological development now renders him eligible to nudge pestilence from the “big three” natural disasters - although will face a tough stand-off with neoliberalism if he’s to get his way.
Whilst Bernie Ecclestone agreed to spare McLaren the indignity of also having the farthest pit slots, his reneging on the deal has compelled the Bahrain group to issue a statement of force majeure; a common clause in contracts which essentially frees both parties from liability or obligation when an extraordinary event or circumstance beyond the control of the parties, such as war, strike, riot, crime or an act of nature.
Eccleston’s morphological development now renders him eligible to nudge pestilence from the “big three” natural disasters - although will face a tough stand-off with neoliberalism if he’s to get his way.
“Outrage” over Nico pics
Paddock rumours have suggested that Frank Williams has helped financed his 2008 season by selling pictures of Nico Rosberg to various ‘men’s magazines’. These seemingly harmless pics were bought by Australian magazine ‘Outrage’.
Outrage Editor, Kevin Fox cited: “We weren’t happy with the original launch shots so we sent them back with some specific instructions.. The one’s they came back with were fabulous!!”
Outrage Editor, Kevin Fox cited: “We weren’t happy with the original launch shots so we sent them back with some specific instructions.. The one’s they came back with were fabulous!!”
Massa(ged) Ego
A Ferrari spokesman has finally confirmed that Felipe Massa's Sepang spin was caused fundamentally by driver error.
Massa initially denied such rumours; citing that the spin was caused when the car “stalled aerodynamically after experiencing some apex turbulence”.
Ron Dennis was unfortunately not available to translate the techo-jargon to GP Specialist at the time, but Ferrari top brass are re-drafting their original statement that the spin was not “caused by a Ferrari defect” as Massa only answers to Felipe or sometimes Tonto
Massa initially denied such rumours; citing that the spin was caused when the car “stalled aerodynamically after experiencing some apex turbulence”.
Ron Dennis was unfortunately not available to translate the techo-jargon to GP Specialist at the time, but Ferrari top brass are re-drafting their original statement that the spin was not “caused by a Ferrari defect” as Massa only answers to Felipe or sometimes Tonto
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Ralf - "You've just been Punk'd!"
Ralf Schumacher has confessed that he made up claims that he would definitely remain in Formula One in 2008.
The German, who has just announced that he is switching to the DTM, repeatedly told the media at the end of last year that he was adamant he would stay in F1. But despite testing for Force India at the end of the season, Schumacher never had any options to race - and has revealed that he made up the claims about his future.
"I did make those comments, and I stand by them. It could still happen. Just like my seven world titles. Dreams can come true.. You know you've got to have'em.. You know you've got to be strong."
Schumacher also indicated that he may attend some grands prix in the future.
"If I come to the formula one paddock, I will certainly eat my supper in the Mercedes motor home," he vowed walking out the door in a Batman outfit.
The German, who has just announced that he is switching to the DTM, repeatedly told the media at the end of last year that he was adamant he would stay in F1. But despite testing for Force India at the end of the season, Schumacher never had any options to race - and has revealed that he made up the claims about his future.
"I did make those comments, and I stand by them. It could still happen. Just like my seven world titles. Dreams can come true.. You know you've got to have'em.. You know you've got to be strong."
Schumacher also indicated that he may attend some grands prix in the future.
"If I come to the formula one paddock, I will certainly eat my supper in the Mercedes motor home," he vowed walking out the door in a Batman outfit.
Ecclestone defends bender Kimi
Bernie Ecclestone has defended reigning world champion Kimi Raikkonen's reputation as a fast Ferrari racer who likes a drink.
"Every time I've been out to dinner with him," the F1 Chief Executive told the Mirror, "he has been as good as gold. And he's even better when he's pissed! We had a great time sleazing onto women and stealing cars. There's nothing wrong with that.. By the way, if you're reading this Jean, you can find your 575 in the Arno river.. I think the keys are still in it".
"Every time I've been out to dinner with him," the F1 Chief Executive told the Mirror, "he has been as good as gold. And he's even better when he's pissed! We had a great time sleazing onto women and stealing cars. There's nothing wrong with that.. By the way, if you're reading this Jean, you can find your 575 in the Arno river.. I think the keys are still in it".
Kolles puts Fisi in a spin.
Force India have ended their test in Barcelona on the right footing heading into Maelbourne, according to technical chief Mike Gascoyne.
"A reasonable end to the test, although we did have slightly more problems than on the other two days," said Gascoyne. "Our main aim was to do a full race distance with both cars, which we managed to achieve in the end despite the red flags and Fisi having to be snapped out of a trance after being rendered catatonic by former Midland boss Colin Kolles... That ruski's got a real nerve turning up! He even freeloads off the catering department, it takes us hours to ship in what he offloads!"
"A reasonable end to the test, although we did have slightly more problems than on the other two days," said Gascoyne. "Our main aim was to do a full race distance with both cars, which we managed to achieve in the end despite the red flags and Fisi having to be snapped out of a trance after being rendered catatonic by former Midland boss Colin Kolles... That ruski's got a real nerve turning up! He even freeloads off the catering department, it takes us hours to ship in what he offloads!"
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