Kimi Raikonnen’s affirmation that it’s “better in the mouth than in the eye”,after copping a faceload of champaign from Heikki Kovolainen in Malaysia, has drawn opposition from leading members of the international porn community.
International spokesman, Ron Jeremy was particularly vocal, saying Raikonnen “had no business casting methodological dispersions on an industry he has no qualififications in – regardless of his patronage”.
FIA President, Max Mosley has supported Jeremy’s comments, saying he should put himself in Ron’s shoes before making unqualified statements”.
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Give Kimi A Chance
Robert Kubica was spotted in the Sepang paddock espousing the virues of peace in an attempt to enlist fellow drivers into his “Free Kimi” campaign.
I’m basically attempting to showcase the mainstream media's relentless hostility to Kimi’s monosyllabia." Robert said. “ Perhaps the more conservative elements of itv can’t understand our euro-compendiary… Well if you’re reading this James Allen. You can suck my bigos!”
I’m basically attempting to showcase the mainstream media's relentless hostility to Kimi’s monosyllabia." Robert said. “ Perhaps the more conservative elements of itv can’t understand our euro-compendiary… Well if you’re reading this James Allen. You can suck my bigos!”
Monday, March 31, 2008
Max knows Nussing!
British dishrag, the News of the World reported in a front page story that FIA president Mosley, 67, had taken part in a 'sadomasochistic orgy' with five prostitutes that was alleged to involve Nazi role-playing। F! supremo Bernie Ecclestone wasn’t convinced however.
"I don't honestly believe [it] affects the sport in any way”, cited Ecclestone. “Knowing Max it might be all a bit of a joke. You know, it's one of those things where he's sort of taking the piss, rather than anything against Jewish people… By the way, do you know why the chicken crossed the road?.. Seriously I have no idea! Tell me! I vant to know ze joke!!.. Zat’s not funny!!!!”
"I don't honestly believe [it] affects the sport in any way”, cited Ecclestone. “Knowing Max it might be all a bit of a joke. You know, it's one of those things where he's sort of taking the piss, rather than anything against Jewish people… By the way, do you know why the chicken crossed the road?.. Seriously I have no idea! Tell me! I vant to know ze joke!!.. Zat’s not funny!!!!”
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Ecclestone – Force of Nature
Organisers of the Bahrain Grand Prix, revealed on Sunday that Formula One Management has ordered the promoters to arrange for McLaren to be housed next to Force India, the local newspaper Gulf Daily News said.
Whilst Bernie Ecclestone agreed to spare McLaren the indignity of also having the farthest pit slots, his reneging on the deal has compelled the Bahrain group to issue a statement of force majeure; a common clause in contracts which essentially frees both parties from liability or obligation when an extraordinary event or circumstance beyond the control of the parties, such as war, strike, riot, crime or an act of nature.
Eccleston’s morphological development now renders him eligible to nudge pestilence from the “big three” natural disasters - although will face a tough stand-off with neoliberalism if he’s to get his way.
Whilst Bernie Ecclestone agreed to spare McLaren the indignity of also having the farthest pit slots, his reneging on the deal has compelled the Bahrain group to issue a statement of force majeure; a common clause in contracts which essentially frees both parties from liability or obligation when an extraordinary event or circumstance beyond the control of the parties, such as war, strike, riot, crime or an act of nature.
Eccleston’s morphological development now renders him eligible to nudge pestilence from the “big three” natural disasters - although will face a tough stand-off with neoliberalism if he’s to get his way.
“Outrage” over Nico pics
Paddock rumours have suggested that Frank Williams has helped financed his 2008 season by selling pictures of Nico Rosberg to various ‘men’s magazines’. These seemingly harmless pics were bought by Australian magazine ‘Outrage’.
Outrage Editor, Kevin Fox cited: “We weren’t happy with the original launch shots so we sent them back with some specific instructions.. The one’s they came back with were fabulous!!”
Outrage Editor, Kevin Fox cited: “We weren’t happy with the original launch shots so we sent them back with some specific instructions.. The one’s they came back with were fabulous!!”
Massa(ged) Ego
A Ferrari spokesman has finally confirmed that Felipe Massa's Sepang spin was caused fundamentally by driver error.
Massa initially denied such rumours; citing that the spin was caused when the car “stalled aerodynamically after experiencing some apex turbulence”.
Ron Dennis was unfortunately not available to translate the techo-jargon to GP Specialist at the time, but Ferrari top brass are re-drafting their original statement that the spin was not “caused by a Ferrari defect” as Massa only answers to Felipe or sometimes Tonto
Massa initially denied such rumours; citing that the spin was caused when the car “stalled aerodynamically after experiencing some apex turbulence”.
Ron Dennis was unfortunately not available to translate the techo-jargon to GP Specialist at the time, but Ferrari top brass are re-drafting their original statement that the spin was not “caused by a Ferrari defect” as Massa only answers to Felipe or sometimes Tonto
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Ralf - "You've just been Punk'd!"
Ralf Schumacher has confessed that he made up claims that he would definitely remain in Formula One in 2008.
The German, who has just announced that he is switching to the DTM, repeatedly told the media at the end of last year that he was adamant he would stay in F1. But despite testing for Force India at the end of the season, Schumacher never had any options to race - and has revealed that he made up the claims about his future.
"I did make those comments, and I stand by them. It could still happen. Just like my seven world titles. Dreams can come true.. You know you've got to have'em.. You know you've got to be strong."
Schumacher also indicated that he may attend some grands prix in the future.
"If I come to the formula one paddock, I will certainly eat my supper in the Mercedes motor home," he vowed walking out the door in a Batman outfit.
The German, who has just announced that he is switching to the DTM, repeatedly told the media at the end of last year that he was adamant he would stay in F1. But despite testing for Force India at the end of the season, Schumacher never had any options to race - and has revealed that he made up the claims about his future.
"I did make those comments, and I stand by them. It could still happen. Just like my seven world titles. Dreams can come true.. You know you've got to have'em.. You know you've got to be strong."
Schumacher also indicated that he may attend some grands prix in the future.
"If I come to the formula one paddock, I will certainly eat my supper in the Mercedes motor home," he vowed walking out the door in a Batman outfit.
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